Work

Found this via the evangelical outpost. It's a bit long, but entertaining and very well worth watching:
Epiphany is another the word that comes to mind through this.

Craigslist Humor

Found on the Internet today:

The following message was posted on Craigslist, but has been removed. What a great message! Those in states permitted to carry concealed weapons can appreciate this!

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah )

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, al ong with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.

Peace!

This wasn't you who posted it was it brother?

News from the News

Canada Issues a Wake-Up Call: You May Be a Citizen

Thanks to a new law, Canada will bestow citizenship Friday on what its government believes could be hundreds of thousands of unsuspecting foreigners, most of them Americans.

You may be a hoser and didn't know it, eh.

King family draws fees from DC memorial project

The family of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. has charged the foundation building a monument to the civil rights leader on the National Mall about $800,000 for the use of his words and image — an arrangement one leading scholar says King would have found offensive.

Enterprising capitalism, crass commercialization, fair use, or plain old extortion? You be the judge.

Hopeful cities, towns find limits on stimulus cash

Some town leaders say the federal stimulus package, with its promise of creating jobs, is neglecting to invest in the cornerstones of community life, from new city halls to recreation centers.

And ya'all thought it was going to be free money from the government: Ain't no such thing.

Another Take on The Sermon on the Mount

entered by yours truly onto http://www.wordle.net/

Obama the Oblivious

What Do You Expect?

The Valiant Captain Phillips

Captain Phillips' brave escape attempt; Pirates recapture US hostage after escape attempt: Too bad the Navy didn't have your back.

Around midnight local time, Phillips jumped off the lifeboat and began swimming, but was recaptured, according to Defense Department officials speaking on condition of anonymity because they are not authorized to talk about unfolding operations.

Sailors on the USS Bainbridge, which is patrolling nearby, were able to see Phillips moving around and talking after his return to the lifeboat, and the Defense Department officials think he is unharmed.

I really wonder about the rules of engagement people are operating under out there. Clearly they are not working to actually rescue him. Where were the Navy Seals that should be shadowing that lifeboat from below? Why were the pirates that left the lifeboat to recapture Captain Phillips not taken out as soon as they showed themselves after he went overboard? And why was the lifeboat not turned into flaming, bullet-ridden flotsam as soon as Captain Phillips was away from it?

I'm guessing that this operation has been completely focused towards a negotiated end from the highest levels of our government and thus those on the water are not and were not prepared to take any immediate forceful actions when presented with the right opportunity. Captain Phillips is a certified hero and deserves far better support from his countrymen than he is getting right now. Sad.

The Gift War (and more)

Yesterday I posted about one of the better April Fools jokes, one that involved President Obama. I wish today's post was also a joke, sadly it is not: British Queen gets personalized iPod from Obama

During their private meeting, President Obama and first lady gave the queen a personalized iPod with video footage of her 2007 visit to Washington and Virginia.

The One continues to act like a cultural moron, trivializing international relations with some of our closest allies (and some of our enemies).

It appears however that the British now understand this and are responding accordingly:

In return the queen and her husband, Prince Philip, gave the Obamas a signed portrait of themselves.

I predict a gift war with the British that would make Monty Python proud.

UPDATE: The gaucheness continues: Did the First Lady Break Protocol? The short answer is "Yes".

UPDATE II: This is beyond gauche: Obama Bows to Saudi King; and it was a full-blown bow, not just a polite head nod of greeting as would be exchanged among equals. His utter lack of understanding of political and social manners and customs is beyond appalling; it will hurt this country in some way some time in the not too distant future. One wonders whether it comes from his background and upbringing, or is it a profoundly misguided attempt to restore "respect for America from other countries" by showing obsequiousness. Either way it's bad news.

Bubba Be Bad

From Car and Driver:

In a move sure to spark outrage, the White House announced today that GM and Chrysler must cease participation in NASCAR at the end of the 2009 season if they hope to receive any additional financial aid from the government. Companies around the globe—Honda and Audi, to name two—have drawn down racing operations, and NASCAR itself has already felt the pinch in the form of reduced team spending. A complete withdrawal from America’s premier racing series is expected to save more than $250 million between GM and Chrysler, a substantial amount considering the drastic measures being implemented elsewhere...

Bwahahahaha. What makes this one so good is that it could be true. Really.

Hmm, Hmm, Hmm

I don't follow MMA but this one is pretty good:

I love the reaction of the ref: Is his name Barry?

Barry, One Smooth Dancer

Not!
ACORN to Play Role in 2010 Census

The U.S. Census is supposed to be free of politics, but one group with a history of voter fraud, ACORN, is participating in next year's count, raising concerns about the politicization of the decennial survey.

Payin' back the peps.

Obama White House bars press from press award ceremony

The president is to receive the award from the federation of black community newspapers in a White House ceremony this afternoon.

The Obama White House has closed the press award ceremony to the press.

Transparency? Openness? Not even close.

Obama Ashamed Of Old Glory? Hides Flag For Message To Iran

In the main, generic version, an American flag is plainly visible in the background. But below that there are links to other versions, including “.mp4 with Persian subtitles.” Persian is of course the language of Iran, so that is the version designed by the White House to be seen there.

Click on it and you’ll see that—poof!—the American flag has disappeared from the background.

Country, what country?

It's certainly becoming one that I find hard to recognize.

AIG Is Not The Problem

I originally posted this elsewhere, but I figure it's worth posting here too (with a few minor tweaks).

The AIG tax bill that the House passed is beyond ridiculous. It is outright unconstitutional according to Article 1, Section 9:

No bill of attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed.

A bill of attainder is "a legislative act that singles out an individual or group for punishment without a trial." The bills language is very tightly targeted to just AIG, and retroactive to previously allowed actions. I do not see how this will pass legal muster or either the attainder or the retroactive aspects. I predict someone will take it to court and spank Congress heartily, all at our expense.

I also find the utter hypocrisy of both the Congressional and Executive branches in this matter to be completely disgusting: Sen. Dodd Admits Adding Bonus Provision to Stimulus Package

In a dramatic reversal Wednesday, Sen. Chris Dodd confessed to adding language to a spending cap in the stimulus bill last month that specifically excluded executive bonuses included in contracts signed before the bill's passage.

Dodd, D-Conn., told FOX News that Treasury officials forced him to make the change.

furthermore,

Amid AIG Furor, Dodd Tries to Undo Bonus Protections in the 'Dodd Amendment' Rules

Senate Banking Committee Chairman Chris Dodd (D-Conn.) on Monday night floated the idea of taxing American International Group bonus recipients so the government could recoup some or all of the $450 million the company is paying to employees in its financial products unit.

The outrage being expressed by Dodd, Geinter and The One is completely bogus and two-faced. Two (or even three or four) wrongs do not make a right. Obviously neither does Congress or the President.

Alabama Tragedy

I'm sure most have heard about this by now. If not here's a page with links to stories about this tragic event.

Today I came across an article with more info on this tragedy: Town comedian hailed as hero in Alabama killings

On Friday, witnesses and authorities said Maloy, the 10th and final victim of Tuesday's shooting rampage by Michael McLendon, single-handedly tried to end the violence with his beat-up old pickup truck.

With gunshots still echoing through downtown Samson and the killer headed toward a bigger city 12 miles away, Maloy chased McLendon's dark red Mitsubishi out of town, ramming the vehicle at least once.

Maloy slowed down the killer briefly, and he may have given police and state troopers time to catch up to McLendon, said Geneva County Chief Deputy Tony Helms. But it cost him his life.

Stories like this make me wish more people could and would carry.

On a larger front, is it me or have there really been more news reports of people committing crimes with guns in the last few weeks since AG Holder announced his idea for a new weapons ban? I would be quite interested in any studies that have been or are being done that show or disprove any correlation between the reporting of gun-involved crimes and gun control-related announcements. I'm not claiming there are any conspiracies, but I also do not believe much in coincidence.

Geeks do the 2nd Amendment

As posted on an internet board:

The state doesn't give us anything. The rights were simply enumerated.

Your right to defend yourself is bestowed upon you when you are instantiated.

While I believe my base class to include this right as well, the state has thus far overloaded the 2A operator with a null pointer... As of yet the linter has not detected this and a segfault is occurring when the function is referenced...

LOL

Compare and Contrast

Steele no Steal

What the heck was he thinking?: Limbaugh's latest attacker: RNC's Steele

In a little-noticed interview Saturday night, Steele dismissed Limbaugh as an “entertainer” whose show is “incendiary” and “ugly.”

I'm not the biggest fan of Rush Limbaugh, but the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Michael Steele was supposed to be the great uniter for the Republicans, kind-of in the mold of The One for the Democrats. Comments like this are not the way to do it.

Obama Humor

From LawDog via Weer'd World Arrr:

Q: What's the difference between Jesus and Obama?

A: Jesus was a carpenter; Obama can't even assemble a cabinet.

*rimshot*

The last time I saw this many withdrawals, it was in the Detox tank at the County jail on a bad Saturday night.

LawDog

Truth

John Bolton on Barack Obama*:

Being inconsistent or deceptive is not the same thing as being a moderate.

Bwahahahaha

*from World Magazine Blog

The Rat Resurfaces

The rat that is Northeast Traders resurfaces again:

It seems that while every store in the state sells them. They are not on the approved Roster. I came into work last night to find them all locked up back in the cage.

It seems someone came into the store, I was told, on Saturday to return a 22A that he bought from Bass Pro.

From what I was told yesterday by several different people...

He went into Northeast Trading and was talking about the 22A he bought from Bass Pro. He was told by someone there that it was a felony to own the pistol, and he needed to take it back.

So, he came back on Saturday, as I posted above, and was freaking out that he was going to go to Jail and demanded that we take it back.

So, we took it back, we removed them from the shelves.

As I've said before with regard to their history, Northeast Trading is a lying, scum of the earth dealer who is an enemy of gun owners in Massachusetts and should be boycotted by us all. Just so you know who he is here is the address and contact information:

Northeast Trading Company
Rt. 152/580 Kelley Blvd.
North Attleboro, MA 02760
508-695-4852 or 800-473-3006
sales@northeasttrading.com
http://www.northeasttrading.com/
Read, heed and avoid

The First Skirmish

The White House does it's best "General Gage":

and the colonists respond*:

*found via Oraculations