Monday, June 26, 2006

World Cup Shenanigans

If anyone is following the World Cup at all it is clear that the referees have decided that it is their stage too. MLB went through that awhile back with their umpires and it didn't help baseball one little bit either.

FIFA needs to make it clear to the refs that they exist to help the game not vica-versa. Maybe FIFA should have an official at the games who can give a red card to the referee and bring on a substitute right in the middle: It only has to happen once.

Let the players play.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Circular Logic Alert

var A="Stay the course is not a strategy";
var B="it's a slogan";
While (A==B) {A=A+B};

People in the Wild: The Obliviot

In the tradition of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, I've started a series called "People in the Wild". Occasionally here I will profile kinds of people one can observe around you "in the wild".

Today's profile is the "Obliviot". Obliviots are those idiots who go through life totally oblivious to everyone around them. They are characterized by a fixed forward gaze, highly directional and variable auditory reception, and unmodulated speech volume. Scientists believe that Obliviots are closely related genetically to the One-Thought-Screamer.

Obliviots are often found at the front of line whether it be the left hand lane of the highway or the local supermarket. Cell phones are an almost universal appendage and their constant use in places like movie theaters appears to some form of mating ritual or territorial marking.

Sadly there is no known predator for the Obliviot. They are impervious to harassment and embarrassment. Direct confrontation rarely has any permanent effect. Avoidance is the best way to deal with the Obliviot. If you see one observe it from a distance, make no direct contact if at all possible, and never ever come under its direct gaze. They are not directly harmful but exposure to its fixed attention will result in temporary transformation of the observer into an Obliviot.

That's all for today from People in the Wild.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Bad UN, Bad

Thursday already, goodness!

To put it simply the United Nations is bad news. The "treaties" it promulgates are even worse. Without regular cleaning and updating it has gone the way of all bad bureaucracies. It needs to be flushed into the East River and reconstituted without the one world government view. There is a role for a neutral place for nations to interact, discuss and even coordinate and decide on mutual actions, but that place should not be "a government." Extirpate and replace the UN, starting with the name: Something like The International Pow-Wow might be better. Feel free to suggest your own in the comments.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Neat Tidy Package

I'm sorry it's been so long since I posted anything. Work and home life have both been very busy, and none of the issues around have been much inspiration. My opinions on most of them can be summed up rather succinctly:

Dig a moat on the Mexican border. Use all the illegal immigrants as the labor. Make sure they end up on the Mexican side when done. Populate it with alligators from Florida. Feed them occasionally with dead (or not dead yet) terrorists to keep 'em hungry for flesh. Use the dirt to fill in New Orleans. Make sure Ray Nagin and Rep. Jefferson are under the first truck load. [originally found on the Internet, embellished by yours truly]