Work

Found this via the evangelical outpost. It's a bit long, but entertaining and very well worth watching:
Epiphany is another the word that comes to mind through this.

Craigslist Humor

Found on the Internet today:

The following message was posted on Craigslist, but has been removed. What a great message! Those in states permitted to carry concealed weapons can appreciate this!

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah )

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, al ong with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.

Peace!

This wasn't you who posted it was it brother?

News from the News

Canada Issues a Wake-Up Call: You May Be a Citizen

Thanks to a new law, Canada will bestow citizenship Friday on what its government believes could be hundreds of thousands of unsuspecting foreigners, most of them Americans.

You may be a hoser and didn't know it, eh.

King family draws fees from DC memorial project

The family of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. has charged the foundation building a monument to the civil rights leader on the National Mall about $800,000 for the use of his words and image — an arrangement one leading scholar says King would have found offensive.

Enterprising capitalism, crass commercialization, fair use, or plain old extortion? You be the judge.

Hopeful cities, towns find limits on stimulus cash

Some town leaders say the federal stimulus package, with its promise of creating jobs, is neglecting to invest in the cornerstones of community life, from new city halls to recreation centers.

And ya'all thought it was going to be free money from the government: Ain't no such thing.

Another Take on The Sermon on the Mount

entered by yours truly onto http://www.wordle.net/

Obama the Oblivious

What Do You Expect?

The Valiant Captain Phillips

Captain Phillips' brave escape attempt; Pirates recapture US hostage after escape attempt: Too bad the Navy didn't have your back.

Around midnight local time, Phillips jumped off the lifeboat and began swimming, but was recaptured, according to Defense Department officials speaking on condition of anonymity because they are not authorized to talk about unfolding operations.

Sailors on the USS Bainbridge, which is patrolling nearby, were able to see Phillips moving around and talking after his return to the lifeboat, and the Defense Department officials think he is unharmed.

I really wonder about the rules of engagement people are operating under out there. Clearly they are not working to actually rescue him. Where were the Navy Seals that should be shadowing that lifeboat from below? Why were the pirates that left the lifeboat to recapture Captain Phillips not taken out as soon as they showed themselves after he went overboard? And why was the lifeboat not turned into flaming, bullet-ridden flotsam as soon as Captain Phillips was away from it?

I'm guessing that this operation has been completely focused towards a negotiated end from the highest levels of our government and thus those on the water are not and were not prepared to take any immediate forceful actions when presented with the right opportunity. Captain Phillips is a certified hero and deserves far better support from his countrymen than he is getting right now. Sad.

The Gift War (and more)

Yesterday I posted about one of the better April Fools jokes, one that involved President Obama. I wish today's post was also a joke, sadly it is not: British Queen gets personalized iPod from Obama

During their private meeting, President Obama and first lady gave the queen a personalized iPod with video footage of her 2007 visit to Washington and Virginia.

The One continues to act like a cultural moron, trivializing international relations with some of our closest allies (and some of our enemies).

It appears however that the British now understand this and are responding accordingly:

In return the queen and her husband, Prince Philip, gave the Obamas a signed portrait of themselves.

I predict a gift war with the British that would make Monty Python proud.

UPDATE: The gaucheness continues: Did the First Lady Break Protocol? The short answer is "Yes".

UPDATE II: This is beyond gauche: Obama Bows to Saudi King; and it was a full-blown bow, not just a polite head nod of greeting as would be exchanged among equals. His utter lack of understanding of political and social manners and customs is beyond appalling; it will hurt this country in some way some time in the not too distant future. One wonders whether it comes from his background and upbringing, or is it a profoundly misguided attempt to restore "respect for America from other countries" by showing obsequiousness. Either way it's bad news.

Bubba Be Bad

From Car and Driver:

In a move sure to spark outrage, the White House announced today that GM and Chrysler must cease participation in NASCAR at the end of the 2009 season if they hope to receive any additional financial aid from the government. Companies around the globe—Honda and Audi, to name two—have drawn down racing operations, and NASCAR itself has already felt the pinch in the form of reduced team spending. A complete withdrawal from America’s premier racing series is expected to save more than $250 million between GM and Chrysler, a substantial amount considering the drastic measures being implemented elsewhere...

Bwahahahaha. What makes this one so good is that it could be true. Really.